I Believe You must rightly order your affections if you desire Christian Maturity
A biblical worldview teaches us that human beings are not merely thinking, choosing, or feeling creatures; we are worshiping creatures. At the center of every person is a heart that loves, desires, fears, trusts, rejoices, and hopes. Scripture does not treat our affections as accidental or unimportant. Rather, the Bible teaches that what we love reveals who we are, what we worship, and where our treasure truly lies. Jesus said, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21). This means that the Christian life is not simply about believing the right doctrines or making the right outward choices, though both are essential. It is also about having our loves properly aligned under the lordship of Christ. Rightly ordered affections are desires, loves, joys, fears, and longings arranged according to the truth of God’s Word, with God Himself as the supreme object of our love.
The great disorder of the human soul began in the garden when Adam and Eve loved the gift more than the Giver, trusted the serpent’s Word over God’s Word, and desired autonomy rather than obedience. Sin is not merely the breaking of rules; it is the corruption of love. It is loving what God forbids, loving good things in ultimate ways, or failing to love what God commands. The first commandment, “You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3), is not only a command about religious practice; it is a command about the ordering of the heart. God alone deserves supreme devotion. Every other love must be placed beneath Him. When family, country, comfort, pleasure, success, ministry, reputation, or even personal safety becomes ultimate, the soul becomes disordered. Good things become idols when they occupy the place that belongs only to God.
Jesus summarized the whole duty of man by saying, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind,” and, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37–39). This shows us the proper order of our affections. First, God is to be loved supremely, wholly, and without rival. Second, neighbor is to be loved sincerely and sacrificially. Third, self-love is not denied but regulated; we are to love others as ourselves, not above God and not in selfish isolation. The modern world tells us to follow our hearts. Still, Scripture tells us that the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick apart from grace (Jeremiah 17:9). Therefore, our affections must not be blindly followed; they must be examined, disciplined, corrected, and sanctified by the Word of God and the Spirit of God.
Rightly ordered affections do not mean the absence of strong feelings. Biblical Christianity is not cold, stoic, or detached. The Psalms are filled with joy, sorrow, longing, grief, fear, repentance, hope, and delight. David cries, “As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God” (Psalm 42:1). He also says, “Delight yourself in the Lord” (Psalm 37:4). The issue is not whether we feel deeply, but whether we feel truthfully. A mature Christian does not feel nothing, but one whose emotions are increasingly governed by what is true, holy, eternal, and pleasing to God. We grieve sin because God is holy. We rejoice in salvation because Christ is precious. We fear the Lord more than man. We love righteousness and hate wickedness. We value eternal glory more than temporary comfort.
The gospel is the only power that can reorder our affections. Moralism may restrain behavior, but it cannot transform the heart. The law can expose disordered loves, but only Christ can redeem and renew them. In the gospel, we see the supreme love of God displayed in the giving of His Son. “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). At the cross, we learn what is truly lovely, truly valuable, and truly worthy of our devotion. Christ does not merely forgive us; He wins our hearts. He becomes our treasure. As the Spirit opens our eyes to the beauty of Christ, lesser loves are put back in their proper place. We begin to say with Paul, “I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” (Philippians 3:8).
This has practical implications for every area of life. Rightly ordered affections shape how we use money, how we view our bodies, how we love our families, how we engage politics, how we endure suffering, and how we resist temptation. A man who loves comfort more than Christ will compromise when obedience becomes costly. A woman who loves approval more than truth will fear people more than God. A church that loves growth more than faithfulness will eventually trade conviction for popularity. But when our affections are ordered by Scripture, we are freed to enjoy God’s gifts without worshiping them, to serve others without needing their praise, and to suffer without despairing.
The Christian life, then, is a lifelong reordering of love. Sanctification is not merely behavior modification; it is the Spirit’s work of teaching us to love what God loves, hate what God hates, value what God values, and seek first the kingdom of God. We do this through Word and prayer, worship and obedience, repentance and fellowship, and the ordinary means of grace. Over time, God trains the heart to find its deepest joy in Him. Rightly ordered affections are not produced by self-effort alone, but by beholding Christ, trusting His Word, and walking by the Spirit. The goal is not simply to do the right things, but to become the kind of people who love the right things in the right order for the glory of God.
If this topic is new to you, look at the representative list below. Please understand that ordering your affections is hard work that involves repentance and self-control. Discipline is key. It’s analogous to learning that soda will kill you, but that tea doesn’t taste that bad. Before long, you shed the pounds and feel better. After a while, soda becomes too sweet for your palate to enjoy. You didn’t lose anything good and gained a maturity that couldn’t have been achieved without the effort. The payoff is that you’ll save money, live longer, and avoid diet-induced obesity. Disordered affections are exhausting and costly. You have every incentive to work hard at ordering your heart.
A biblical list of rightly ordered affections would look something like this:
Love for God above all things
Loving the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.Delight in God’s Word
Treasuring Scripture as truth, wisdom, correction, and life.Worship and reverence toward God
Approaching God with awe, joy, humility, and holy fear.Faith in Christ
Trusting Christ more than self, circumstances, feelings, or human wisdom.Hatred of sin
Not merely fearing consequences, but grieving sin because it dishonors God.Love for righteousness
Desiring what is holy, pure, just, obedient, and pleasing to the Lord.Joy in salvation
Rejoicing that we are forgiven, justified, adopted, and secure in Christ.Gratitude for God’s grace
Receiving all of life as undeserved mercy from the hand of God.Hope in eternity
Setting our hearts on the resurrection, Christ’s return, and the coming kingdom.Love for the church
Cherishing the people of God as Christ’s body and our spiritual family.Love for neighbor
Seeking the good of others with truth, compassion, sacrifice, and patience.Compassion for the lost
Grieving over unbelief and desiring sinners to be reconciled to God.Humility before God and others
Seeing ourselves rightly: dependent, needy, forgiven, and called to serve.Contentment in God’s providence
Resting in God’s wisdom rather than being ruled by envy, anxiety, or complaint.Zeal for God’s glory
Wanting God to be honored in our homes, churches, work, speech, and culture.Fear of the Lord over fear of man
Caring more about God’s approval than human praise or rejection.Love for family under God
Loving spouse, children, parents, and household deeply, but not above Christ.Proper love of self
Caring for body, soul, and responsibilities without selfishness or self-worship.Thankfulness for created gifts
Enjoying food, beauty, work, friendship, marriage, nature, and rest as gifts from God, not idols.Desire for obedience
Wanting not only to know God’s will, but to do it gladly.Sorrow over suffering and injustice
Grieving what sin has broken while trusting God’s final judgment and restoration.Patience in trials
Enduring hardship with faith rather than bitterness or despair.Longing for holiness
Desiring to be conformed to the image of Christ.Mercy toward sinners
Showing grace without approving sin, remembering how much mercy we have received.Anticipation of Christ’s return
Living with the settled affection: “Come, Lord Jesus.”